Friday, November 7, 2014

I'm Alive!!!

By now I'm pretty sure I don't even need to explain myself.. Having a baby makes it pretty hard to blog. I know there are people who do it and bless them, but I've been working out how to balance everything in life for the past few months and keeping up with this just hasn't made the cut. I really want to change that though!! :)

While I was out I finally ran a 5k. Actually 3 of them!!

This is my sister in law, Jennifer.. AKA one of my favorite people on the planet. :D 

My partner in crime since age 3, Sabrina. :D

The last one I got 3rd place in my age group.... we aren't sure but we think there might have only been four of us.. but still =p

Also while I was out my little watermelon turned SEVEN MONTHS OLD. What???

This girl has four teeth (two on the way!) eats solid food, has her ears pierced, and is thisclose to crawling. 

I've been spending my days juggling running/yoga/bootcamp dvd's, keeping Emma occupied, running back and forth to my Mom's house, cooking up a storm, baking cupcakes like I'm getting paid to, reading every book I can get my hands on, and trying to keep my own house from being an absolute mess. When I type it all out it doesn't sound like much but I feel like I never ever stop. 

I've been trying lots of new foods and veggies and have discovered that I now like tomatoes and no squash is safe. I will seriously eat all the squash. All. Of. It. I cannot stress this enough. I've been putting lots of green foods (apples, spinach, parsley, grapes, cucumber) in my blender and drinking them, which I feel sure is the reason that I am the only one in the house who didn't get sick last week. (and also the ONLY acceptable way to consume cucumber) But it has triggered a flashback to my strangest job: parsley picking. People who know me won't be surprised but for those of you who don't.. I used to "pick parsley" four and a half hours a night, two nights a week. Meaning I picked the leaves off of parsley, weighed it, and put it in buckets. That was my job. Picking leaves, to be put into tabouly. Not to brag but I'm still known as the fastest parsley picker that Drumright Oklahoma has ever known. I'm basically a legend. The more you know ; p

What is your favorite kind of squash?

What's the weirdest job you've ever had?

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Will Run For Mac N Cheese WIAW #31

Hi I'm Kadee and I specialize in disappearing from blog-land for weeks at a time. Sorry!! I promise I do plan to do other things besides What I Ate Wednesday; I've got loads of half finished drafts going on, but lately I've been particularly busy with a certain little nugget of mine. 

No really, she an actual nugget these days. Look at dem CHEEKS!

I thought I would try the whole "warm lemon water"as soon as you wake up thing out because of all the benefits of it that people are constantly preaching. I can drink cold lemon water all day long, but for some reason when it's warm I couldn't hate it more. (lies.. Mothers Milk tea was so much worse) I thought I might gag, but I did it. I will say I immediately felt more awake. Also I'm not sure if it was the cause but my "system"was definitely moving if ya catch my drift..

After that fiasco I had some coffee and my most typical breakfast: an egg on toast with a slice of cheese, but added some bacon for running motivation. (pff like I need a reason for bacon)

My lunch was the most perfectly balanced plate of all time in my opinion. Half Annie's mac n cheese half veggies. (and my usual blob of hot sauce) So. Dang. Good. It's kind of like getting to eat my Mom's broccoli cheese casserole without it even being Thanksgiving. 

About 5pm I got HANGRY and built a masterpiece of a snack creation

Greek yogurt, frozen raspberries, Kind granola, shredded coconut, almonds, and extra flax seeds. In the words of Bruce (Almighty) "It's gewd" 

If only my dinner looked as exciting as it actually was..

Chicken and pepper fajitas with guacamole, salsa, and refried beans. At almost 10pm. I really need to figure out a new dinner system. I usually start getting Emma ready for bed around 8 and then Steven takes over and feeds her and lays her down while I get dinner started, but we are eating so late that I feel like by the time we have dinner and watch one recorded episode of Jimmy Fallon it's about time to get ready for bed. (part of why I haven't been posting) Half the time we end up having whatever I can throw together the fastest, or else in the crockpot. Sigh.. 

I also take a little time throughout every day to munch on this belleh! 

I mean.. how cute is that??

What's the best thing you've eaten this week?

What's your go to quick/easy dinner?

What epic snacks do you make?

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

What I Ate Wednesday #30 & Time For Change

Probably my new motto.

My blog is in serious need of some refreshing. It's been on my mind for a while. More than anything I need a new name. I never intended to stay "Kadee-Cat"; it was just something a few people I used to work with called me. I had been reading blogs for months and feeling the itch to start my own, but kept putting it off because I couldn't think of anything to call it. Finally I got so sick of waiting that I just threw something up there. The problem is that I still can't think of anything! I am constantly seeing such clever names and I am really struggling to come up with my own. I'm thinking something like "Diary of a Reformed Veggie Hater" is appropriate, but probably too long. Most of the time when I think of something good, it reminds me too much of something I've ever seen. Sighh, the struggle.

Something that's never going to change is how much I love talking about  food! So let's get onto What I Ate Wednesday!!!

Check Out Peas & Crayons

I'm going to break the rules a little bit this week. I didn't do a good job of getting pictures of my food yesterday so I'm gonna just throw in any pictures I had from the week:

Steven grilled chicken last night and I made some stuffed peppers with turkey bacon. I mixed some homemade ranch (made with greek yogurt) with light cream cheese and sharp cheddar. I haven't made these in forever and they were sooo good. I used jalapeƱos and mini red peppers this time; both were uhh-mazinig.

Speaking of uhh-mazing, we went to my Mom's house Sunday night for some fabulous lasagna and then she sent us home with a whole pan of it. We had it for dinner the next night (with basil that I grew!) but I'm freezing the rest for later.

As usual we had to have some turkey tacos. I always make them in a "ugh I forgot to take out something to thaw I guess we'll have tacos" way, and then they always end up being really good. :) 

And of course there was Friday night, our anniversary. Our first date since Emma was born. We went out for sushi, and Steven actually tried mine (he spit it out.. haha!) 

I had some coconut water, which was super strong and a little weird, but good. It got better the more the ice melted. 

What's the best thing you've eaten this week?

What's your go-to easy dinner when you forget to plan?

Anyone feel like renaming my blog? ;P (no seriously..)

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Tree Growing Out Of My Car?? Thinking Out Loud #6

Check out Running With Spoons!

1. My dog grooming career ended before it ever began. I've been meaning to get Luna's hair cut for a long time, but I haven't found anywhere to take her yet and it's really hot outside. I finally did it... she seems to feel better but it's not her best look. Poor puppy.

I actually showed my step-mom this picture of her hair pile and she thought it was actually her.


2. Finding an episode of Friends that I don't remember watching is like finding a unicorn. I watch wayyyyyy too much of it; and yet, not enough. I have about 80 episodes on my dvr. Seriously.

3. It's July and I'm still. making. soup.

4. The Fault In Our Stars made me bawl my eyes out. The sniffing in that theatre was unreal. I truly felt sorry for all the boyfriends/husbands in the room. I had an amazingly good time hanging out with my sister though :D

5. For a second there, a tree was growing out of my car. No, really. The joys of parking under a tree that drops stupid flowers on my car all day every day.

6. There is a 7 day a week produce stand open all summer long within walking distance of my house. It's amazing!! I'm saving so much money on groceries by getting most of our produce there. It's also a way to get out of the house for a bit with the baby. (and take Luna for a walk) For a few weeks I was walking down, doing my shopping and then taking a long walk around the neighborhood, sometimes bumping into Steven while he was out delivering mail. Unfortunately it has gotten so hot the last few days we've had to walk straight home. Boo. Summer is not my fave. 

7. I miss Kansas. Not the part where we didn't get to see our family very often, but I loved the town we lived in. We lived in a great neighborhood with a big park that had amazing trails for walking/ running. It's definitely not the same where we are now. But I'll take what I can get ; p 

8. J.K. Rowling posted a mini update on the lives of Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville, and Luna the other day. I very nearly peed my pants. 

9. As of tomorrow, I've been married for 5 years! five years, seven
 moves, three states, two deployments, and one baby. Busy life! :p 

10.  Speaking of that, we are going out for the first time since Emma was born this weekend. Thank you Jennifer!!!!

I hope everyone is having a great week! 
Tell me something random! 

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

What I Ate Wednesday #29

It lives!!! I have been meaning to get back to posting for weeks, but a certain little nugget keeps me busier than I could ever explain! She's actually on my lap at this very moment so let's get right down to business..

Here's what I ate Tuesday

I've been eating lots of egg sandwiches for breakfast, and this one I put a laughing cow cheese on... umm so good :D I always see people use them on everything and now I know why!! 

Lunch was some leftover chicken enchiladas. I tried out this recipe and loved it! There is no condensed soup, which is awesome. 

As long as we're being real though, I topped them with some more sour cream and a gallon or two of Tapatio. ;p 

My go-to granny smith and peanut butter. 

Annnnnd for dinner some homemade pizza, with turkey pepperoni, squash, okra, and asparagus. I have decided there pretty much is no veggie that I don't like thrown on top of pizza. 

Not pictured: baby cheeks, which I basically munch on all day every day. ; p 

What's the best thing you've eaten this week? 

How do you like your pizza?

What's your go-to easy snack? 

Monday, June 2, 2014

Mommy Blues

Warning: this post is all about breastfeeding. And nipples. And Frustration. If that's not your thing.. this post is probably not for you, and that's cool. I'll be back to talking about food, cute babies, and furry puppies on the next post ; p I promise to break up the complaints with cute baby pictures. 

When your'e pregnant you have this idea of how things are going to go. No matter how many "reality check" blog posts I found on Pinterest I still had this picture in my head of how it would be. How I would have instincts about what she needed. How I was going to be blissfully breastfeeding and could pump so Steven could feed her bottles. ha. ha. HA. Parenting is hard.. breastfeeding is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Including having a baby in the first place. It may be what nature intended but let me tell you it does NOT come naturally. From day one Emma had problems latching. She didn't (and still doesn't) want to open her mouth wide enough so it hurts. In the hospital I was feeding her every hour. After two days it started hurting so bad I cried every time I fed her. It's normal to hurt in the beginning but she was clamping down so hard, flattening the nipple to the point where it would stay that way when she wasn't eating. This can effect milk output and cause actual tissue damage. I had help from a lactation consultant, but after she left things went right back to how it was and I couldn't fix it.

When we got home from the hospital I started using a nipple shield. It helped with the pain, and she seemed able to latch better, but I still never felt like she was getting enough to eat. I just kept reading about how everyone has the same worries, so I tried to keep pushing on.

Right before we left the hospital

Another thing I didn't expect? She couldn't stay awake long enough to nurse sufficiently. Probably because milk wasn't flowing fast enough to keep her interested. I tried everything to get her to wake up and really eat but she wouldn't keep her eyes open more than a few seconds at a time. I would feed her for up to an hour and she wasn't full. She would always start fussing and acting desperately hungry 30 minutes later. For the first couple of weeks I was sleeping maybe 2 hours a night, total, and nursing every hour around the clock. I felt like I was losing my mind. Anything and everything made me cry. Every time I would feed her or try to pump I would get tired and dizzy, like it was literally sucking the life out of me.

I also had a second degree tear, so it hurt to sit, stand, walk, move, not move, and we won't even talk about going to the bathroom. I was weak, had headaches, dizziness, and looked sick.This was more than your typical "Mommy of a newborn exhaustion" and I knew it.  I couldn't push the buttons hard enough to get Emma out of the carseat. I felt more pain and weakness than I had in the hours following her birth. I was determined not to give her formula but I couldn't pump enough to make more than 1 bottle a day, 2 if I was lucky, and every time I pumped I felt like I was going to pass out. Something had to give.

About a month in. 

I never had that moment when it felt like my milk came in. My boobs never felt any bigger, harder, tender (except my nips, of course!) they never leaked, nothing. Not a single sign of milk coming in except that it got a little whiter. For some people it happens the day after their baby was born. For most, at least within a few days. I tried to be patient, figuring that since I was induced maybe my body just hadn't caught up yet, or since she was eating so often maybe I just didn't have enough left in between for the signs to show up, let alone enough for the pump.

my little fusser 

About three weeks in we started giving her a bottle or two a day, usually at night. At first, it helped. We all got a little more sleep because I wasn't spending hours overnight feeding her, only to never get her truly full. I would pump in the morning and since I hadn't fed her overnight, I would usually get enough for a bottle. But the thing about babies is, they grow. They don't keep drinking just two ounces. At some point they want three, and now at two months old, Emma drinks four ounces every two or three hours

Around the six week mark, we were feeding her formula twice at night, and a bottle or two in the day. I would breastfeed, she'd be hungry. So I'd give her a bottle. I was basically only breastfeeding to keep making milk, so I could pump later. Then pumping started going downhill. I would pump for an hour and be lucky to get an ounce. I tried Mothers Milk tea, which was disgusting but helped for a few days, and then the effect wore off. I was drinking tons of water, eating all the foods I read I should eat, breastfeeding and pumping often, none of it was enough.

At two months she is mostly getting formula. I haven't pumped enough in the last three days combined to fill a single bottle. I don't know what to do!! I have felt so defeated and angry, but most of all confused. I know that formula isn't "bad" and that many babies (including myself)  never get any breastmilk, and that theres nothing wrong with that. However breastfeeding is obviously an amazing thing to do for your baby. Something that I really wanted.

The thing is, there is no denying the effect that bottles have had on Emma. No matter what I read, no matter what anyone told me, I couldn't get over the nagging feeling that she wasn't getting enough to eat. I don't think it was to the point that it was hurting her in any way, but my instincts told me she wasn't feeling her best. Now that she's getting all bottles, whether formula or the rare pumped bottle, she is thriving. She is gaining weight consistently. She sleeps better, she is pooping almost every day (she used to only go about every 4 days) she smiles, plays.. everything has changed. I know that the older babies get, it's natural for them to smile more and fuss less, but this is different. It's so hard to explain. (I guess one of those "instinct" things, right?)

the peaceful sort of sleep that for her, only comes from a bottle

I'm just pissed that after all of this time, effort, stress, money spent, etc that breastfeeding isn't working out. I am so disappointed. Is there something else I could have done? Can it still be salvaged? Is it a lost cause? What about my future baby? Will it work then? I'm lucky to have Steven, who has been amazing and supportive. He has told me since day one that everything would be fine if breastfeeding doesn't work out. It's not as if I haven't tried. I usually disregarded this of course, figuring that if I kept fighting for it, eventually it would just start getting better. But finally, the other night I was nearly two hours into a pumping session, literally had bleeding nipples and less than an ounce of milk to show for it. I think I reached the breaking point. I honestly tried. I tried with everything I had to make this work. I didn't discover that breastfeeding was hard work and decide to give up. If I was doing all of it, and she was getting the benefit of it, it would be one thing, but who is benefitting from this? NO one. Sometimes I miss out on time with her or Steven because I'm pumping.. and not getting anything. So why am I wasting the time?

I'm not saying I'm giving up completely, not yet. What I am saying is that I'm letting go of the guilt. I ordered Vitamins that are supposed to help and some more of the tea. I'll keep pumping and trying to give her any breastmilk that I can. Some is better than none of course, but if I lose my supply completely it's just going to have to be okay.

Sorry for the bummer post, but sometimes a girls gotta vent!!

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Thinking Out Loud #5

Check out Running With Spoons!

1. So this is how my week has been going:

Just kidding.. I mean I DID spill nail polish on the carpet, but overall things are good. :D 

2. Running again has felt amazing. I'm only running every other day and actually look forward to it. I need new shoes though, I keep getting blisters on the back of my feet. :/

3. Speaking of running, let's discuss my fashion sense. 


4. I've been "meal planning" .. sort of. I had Steven grill a bunch of extra chicken and I made breakfast burritos for both of us for a week. So every day I've been able to just microwave something quickly for breakfast and lunch, so I've been able to eat real food every day; even with Steven being at work. 

5. I've been all about trying new things lately, like the egg inside avocado thing I always saw on Pinterest. It was super easy and really good. :D I ran right after that lunch and I swear it was one of the best runs I've ever had. I also tried brussels sprouts for the first (and second) time. Really good, but holy farts. -__-

6. I went grocery shopping yesterday, and discovered that this exists..

Just replace those with dark chocolate Justin's peanut butter cups and I will throw my money at you. 

7. Emma is 2 months old! She changes every day. I swear she doubled in size over the last week. 

this picture looks like it was taken with a potato. 

Tell me something random about your week?

What's your favorite running fuel?

Ever spilled nail polish on the carpet? Help!!