Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Will The Real Slim Kadee Please Stand Up?

Please stand up, please stand up..

A lot of things have been hitting me lately, one of which is my unhealthy obsession with my weight. For years I have been so focused on getting thinner.  I haven't physically done anything as dramatic as restricting my food intake or throwing up, but something tells me it can't be right to think about it as much as I do. People always tell you about how losing weight won't fix all your problems. Being skinny doesn't automatically make you happy, but I never really realized how right they were until I did lose weight. 

After I had Emma the weight came off fast. I only gained 25 pounds in the first place, but just a few hours after having her I didn't look pregnant at all. Over the next month I lost about 20 pounds. People kept telling me how skinny I looked, in fact it's all they wanted to talk about. How did I do it?? I was so lucky!! But inside I was fuming. Did they know how weak I was? How sick I felt? Breastfeeding was taking every ounce of my strength and I felt awful. I lost the weight because my body was struggling. It hurt to sit, to stand, to hold my baby because my body was weak and having trouble healing. (I talked a little about this here) I know people mean well and would never intentionally hurt my feelings, I'm mostly just annoyed that we live in a society that puts so much focus on our bodies. Something I know that I'm guilty of as well. 

After I stopped breastfeeding I slowly started to get my strength back, get back to exercising, and feeling more human. The baby weight is long gone, plus some and I'm thrilled. I'm thrilled because the rest of what I lost is due to hard work and I can be proud of it. I'm not smaller because I'm making myself sick, I'm smaller because I work my ass off and I'm proud of that. 

It's time for me to stop being so obsessed with the number on the scale. It's funny timing reaching this comfortable mental place right in the middle of a 8 week "bikini series" But through this challenge I've found a lot of supportive people and realized how strong I feel. So my goal is to achieve strength, not weight loss. Getting up early and working out makes me feel good. Fueling my body with healthy food makes me feel good. I feel more awake, stronger, healthier, happier than since I can remember and the most awesome part is that I did this for myself. 

I used to live my life being so self conscious about everything!!! I never wanted to look stupid. I don't tell people I know in real life about my blog because I don't want them to judge me. I wouldn't wear the clothes I wanted to because I didn't want people to think I was trying to hard. Looking back I've always been like this and I've missed out on a lot of things because of it. Somehow though, through having a baby, working my butt off to be strong, and the help of badass supportive people like my sister in law Jenn (who literally taught me to dance like no one was watching ;p) .. I feel like that is finally changing

I never ever ever ever want Emma to grow up hating her body. So why would I let her grow up watching me hate mine? I still have goals, but they are no longer going to involve my weight. I wanna run a long time without stopping. I want to do handstands. I wanna hike up mountains!!! 

I mean sure I have dimples on my thighs but I can also do this: 

SO yeah.. I'm skinnier now. And yeah, I'm happier too. BUT it didn't take me reaching my "goal weight" to get me there. 

What's something awesome you want to do (or have done!!) that has nothing to do with your weight? 

Guess there's a slim Kadee in all of us.........
Let's all stand up. 

Monday, April 13, 2015

That Time It Rained Pizza Sauce

 First I just want to say that I had so much fun at the Color Run with my Momma on Saturday. 
How could I not, when I was dressed as such a majestic creature?

Starting line.. 

Finish Line.. 

We had a blast walking along, giggling and singing Backstreet Boys, as we always do. This time we were just covered in very stinky colored powder.  

Can I just brag about this lady for a second? She's beaten cancer (twice)  gone through chemo, radiation, 13 surgeries, and now conquered her first 5k. :) 

I'm so looking forward to all the other fun things we're going to experience together in the future. 

Also seeing all the volunteers at the Color Run really made me want to try it out. Anyone have any experience with this? 

Today is the first day of the 8 week Tone It Up Bikini Series. It's my first time doing it, but I'm so excited. I've decided rather than focusing on a number on the scale, or the size of the pants on my body, I'm just going to focus on getting through this challenge for now. I didn't purchase the meal plan/DVD or anything, I'm just following the workout program and trying to stay on track with my meals. Which leads me to my other goal.. to get more creative in the kitchen before my whole family overdoses on grilled chicken and corn on the cob. 

I was pretty pumped about getting up this morning and working out first thing in the morning. Let's see how long I stay this enthusiastic. ;p

After my workout I ate breakfast and went grocery shopping. I'm a big believer of the "one trip or die trying" thing when I carry in the bags, but unfortunately one of them split this time and I lost a pizza sauce. It ended up being worth it though because I picked up the glass but not the sauce, and Steven later told me that he was alarmed when he pulled up and saw such a scene in front of his car, and that he even looked up in the tree for the source. I died laughing thinking of him standing there, looking up and trying to figure out if Cloudy With a Chance Of Meatballs was really possible.. 

Anyways, in case you came here for the food, here's what I ate today. 
I didn't manage to take a picture of the handful of almonds or the cinnamon chickpeas that I snacked on while I looked for something to make for lunch. All that grocery shopping and pizza sauce excitement made me hangry. 

I decided to reward all of my badassery with a nice Lush bath before bed.

Plus epsom salt because I literally have no idea what the Tone It Up girls have in store for me tomorrow, and I'm still a little scared after I did one single video last week that had me waddling like an 80 year old penguin for 3 days. 

And with that, I'm off to bed so I can rest up for Bikini Series day 2. :D

Have you ever done a Color Run?

Have you ever volunteered at one? (or any race)

What's the funniest thing that has happened to you lately?

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Oops I Did It Again..

I disappeared for a month. Again. I'm sorry!! I cannot put into words how crazy things can be around here! I am amazed by the people who find time to raise kids, keep their house in some sort of shape, cook, exercise, live.. and manage to blog about it. Serious props to those people. I'm just not one of them. Maybe one of these days I'll get it figured out. 

As you may have guessed, most of my time is devoted to this little nugget; who recently turned A YEAR OLD. How??? It doesn't feel real. She's got 13 teeth and the biggest personality I have ever seen. Not to mention she's pretty stinkin adorable. ;p

I planned my first ever party, which was a lot of stress for what turned out to be for no reason. You know those things you freak out about and everyone acts like you are crazy because it's going to turn out fine? That's pretty much the story of my life. Overthink every detail for nothing. Her party was cute, everything went fine, and all that mattered was that she demolished and ate an entire cake. 
(actually not true, I found chunks of cake in random places for days afterwards) I'll post pictures of the cake smashing when I get them. The only thing I remembered to take a picture of was, of course, THA FEWD.

Now that I'm back to running things have changed a bit. I still love it, don't get me wrong. It's a wonderful feeling to get out of the house by myself in the evenings and have some time to not have to take care of anyone or anything, but I'm at a point where I don't care at all if it takes me over 10 minutes, or how far I go, or if half the time I'm actually just walking. It's kind of nice. I've been a lot more focused on yoga and at home videos, and I'm loving it. I feel a lot more accomplished when I finish a Tone It Up video than I do when I finish a mile, and it's a lot easier to work around Emma's naps. (also I don't have to use the dreadmill!!) I seem to run better when I've been working to make the rest of me stronger anyway, so maybe I'm doing something right. :) 

I'm planning on doing the upcoming 8 week Bikini Series with Tone It Up which starts on April 13. I'm a little nervous about it since I'll be going on vacation two weeks into it, not because I don't want to work out on vacation but because there isn't a gym where we are staying and you often need weights to do their workouts, but I'll figure something out. At the very least I can get a morning jog in at the beach. No excuses, right?? 

I'm still tracking my food in My Fitness Pal, although I haven't been as good at remembering as I was at first, but I'm trying to stay on track since vacation is only 18 days away. Time to get excited!! 
(Which reminds me, I haven't tracked my lunch for today.) 

Thanks to the warmer weather I've been able to grill ALL THE THINGS for dinner lately, which is fabulous, although I think Steven is probably getting a little sick of grilled chicken. (I'm not..) 

Annnnnd I hear a certain little one year old making noises in her crib, which is my cute to go for now..

What should I grill next? 

Do you have any big summer plans? 

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

What I Ate Wednesday #36

Thanks Peas & Crayons for hosting! 

I finally managed to get pictures from a full day of food!! 
Here's what I ate on Tuesday.. 

I haven't had eggs in the morning in several days and it was so nice to have them again. Having a good breakfast really does make such a difference in how much snacking I do throughout the day.

I also had coffee. So much coffee. 

For once I wasn't starving at lunchtime and actually managed to make Emma a plate and get her eating while I made mine. I love having Annie's macaroni and cheese in the single containers because it's so easy to just heat it up and mix it with a bunch of veggies. 

I do have to snack a little however.. so I had two mini blueberry muffins. 
I also think I've decided blueberry muffins are my favorite food. Besides pizza... and sushi.. and cheese. 

I will call you squishy and you will be mine. 

I almost don't even want to talk about what I had for dinner.. Partly because the picture is shameful.. (My iphone doesn't do so well without any sunshine) but also because we had turkey tacos again... How does that keep happening?? Every Tuesday!! I swear I don't even make them that often. -__- 

I remembered halfway through that I needed a picture. 
Also don't tell Steven that I managed to sneak cauliflower into them... hehehe  

I'm off to work on crafting birthday decorations for this nugget. 

She's turning one this month and it's all I can do to hold it together. Sloooow downnnn. 

What's the best thing you've eaten this week?? 

How's the weather where you live? It was in the mid 50's yesterday and it's sleeting today. Oklahoma problems. 

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Eat All The Bread - WIAW 35

I woke up to a strange man in my bed this morning.. :p

Anyways.. here's what I ate on Tuesday...

It's been forever since I had a breakfast sandwich in the morning and holy wow did I not remember what I was missing out on. I made a little omelet with egg whites and spinach and then topped it with turkey bacon and extra sharp cheddar in a light english muffin. I need to go back to premaking and freezing these things. 

For lunch I had one.last.piece. of my favorite bread in the world. I could eat just about anything if you put it inside ciabatta. Today it was turkey with avocado and more sharp cheddar. I also split some edamame, grapes, and a cutie with Emma. 

I branched out from turkey tacos this Tuesday but I didn't stray very far... We had chicken fajitas. ;p Eaten on a classy cardboard placemat because I'd been painting on the table earlier in the day. 

Not pictured is a handful of grapes and another of Hershey Hugs.. seriously somebody get those things out of my house!!! 

Somewhere in the middle of all of that one of my worst fears came true. I locked myself out of the house. As in I was outside in the snow with the dogs and Emma was inside alone. Facepalm. 

I had to go to my neighbors house in my polka dot socks, moccasins, striped running leggings, and my husbands shirt. Not to mention my lack of bra or the state my hair was in. My neighbor that I don't know so I could use his phone. Steven had just left from his lunch break so he was able to be there really quickly but still. So so so embarrassing. 

Let's just say it was not my day. Later in the evening though I decided to try and do some yoga and get over the frustration I'd been feeling all day and guess what?? I did crow pose for a whopping 2 seconds!! I'm still in shock. I kept trying over and over and twice after that I even did it for at least 5 seconds, one of which was witnessed by Steven.  So yeah, my mood got dramatically better after that. :) 

What's the best thing you've eaten this week?

If you have an extra minute show Jenn at  Peas & Crayons some  extra love. She's having a rough time with WIAW right now and could use some encouragement!!

Friday, February 13, 2015

Friday Thoughts and Rambles

I stepped in dog poop yesterday morning. 

Not the best start to a day. Someone remind me how I talked myself into house training another dog?? 
Just kidding.. she's worth it. 

My day did get better after that though and by the time Steven got home from work things were pretty much awesome. For one thing he came in carrying a box full of Quest goodies that I wasn't expecting to come in so quickly. 

little helper.. 

A couple hours later UPS came and brought my new desk and chair. Wooooo hooooo!! I feel like such an adult now with my pretty little work space. In case you didn't know before I had to either use my laptop on the couch or at an old desk I bought on Craigslist to paint and never did, and was sitting at a too tall kitchen chair leaning down to type because I was too stubborn to buy a chair until I found one that I liked enough. I finally did and got a really good deal on it. Good things come to those who wait. ; p 

At the dr. appointment for my knee on Wednesday she said something doesn't feel right with the resistance in my leg and it could be my ACL. She doesn't think it's torn, but it could be loose. (or something??) she is referring me to a physical therapist to have an ultrasound and to see what they can figure out before we do anything more drastic. There was a mention of "injections" that made me cringe a little. 

It was nice to not feel crazy anymore, since as soon as she started pushing on my knee she said "oh.." I'm just hoping it's nothing that can't be corrected quickly since spring is quickly approaching and I want to be outside and running. When I left her office it was hurting more than ever and hasn't let up much since. 

I'm not sure what the context is of this photo set, but when it came across my Tumblr dash I couldn't stop laughing. 

I finished another book last night. It was good, but I think everything else is going to pale in comparison to Gone Girl because I still can't get over it. It was a cute book, which lots of dry humor which is my favorite. Somehow I wasn't aware before I started reading it that it was about a kid in his senior year of high school... sort of a recurring theme for me lately because I've been reading everything by John Green, and so far all of those books have been about high schoolers. 

I feel like I'm at sort of a weird age, where I'm obviously not relating a whole lot to books about people in high school, but not really old enough yet to relate to other books where people are farther along in their careers/marriage and stuff than I am so I don't really relate to them either. (Eat.Pray.Love. for example.. in love with the book, I just don't relate much) Sometimes I feel silly because I liked The Fault In Our Stars so much, but I still thought it was a really good book and a beautiful story. However it doesn't bother me one bit to read Harry Potter books that I originally read at age 11..... ;p 

For my next book I'm torn between these two, so if you've read either of them let me know your thoughts!! 

What's your favorite book? 
Do you have any recommendations? 

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

What I Ate Wednesday 34

Thanks Peas & Crayons for hosting!! 

I am getting worse and worse at taking pictures of what I eat. I'm really going to try and get better!! Although I am doing pretty good at logging them into myfitnesspal. So that's something. I could feel myself getting wayyyy off track with my eating habits, and have been doing a little better since holding myself accountable in the app. Tracking your meals isn't for everyone, and certainly isn't something I plan to do for a long time, but it has helped. It mostly keeps me from mindlessly grabbing a handful of chips here and there, because I don't want to have to track it and if I didn't track it, it would feel like a lie. Also I have stopped going to Sonic for cherry limeades so much, which is good for my health and our budget. :p

For breakfast we had biscuits with scrambled eggs. Steven was off and I love making eggs any morning that he's home. :) After that we went to the zoo!!

My whole world in one picture.. 

Emma had even more fun than I expected her to. Especially on the train. We only did a half trip, but if I'd known she was going to have such a blast we would have gone all the way around. Her other favorite was the big globe.. which is why her shirt is all wet. She was NOT, however having any part of the petting zoo. No goat friends for this girl. 

We meant to eat lunch before we went, but all we saw on the way was Mcdonalds. Barf.  We ended up grabbing a slice of greasy, undercooked pizza at a place inside the zoo. It was still good. Just not picture worthy. (plus, you know.. I forgot)

I forgot to wear my knee brace, which was a horrible mistake because my knee was killing me when we got home. So badly that I didn't even snack on anything, and I am usually queen of the snacks. I did eventually get off my butt and make tacos. (how is it that we end up having tacos nearly every Tuesday?? I swear every WIAW has turkey tacos in it..) I DID remember to take a picture of those.. but just barely. I had already dug in like a ravenous taco monster before I even made it to the table. 

Not cute. 

You can't tell but there are probably more peppers in there than turkey, and also an impressive amount of spinach. I have become the master veggie hider. If you come to dinner at my house don't expect to not be eating pureed sweet potatoes, cauliflower, or anything else I can cram into your food without you knowing. :p 

I don't want Emma to grow up picky. I want her to not just eat her veggies, but like them. I don't want her to be put off by a side of broccoli. However I don't think it hurts one bit to hide a few extras in there so that we are all getting our veggie quota in every day. Ya know? 

Anyways, time for the dr. appointment for my knee. Wish me luck!

Do you hide extra veggies in your meals?

What's the best thing you've eaten lately?